Yes folks, now YOU can own your very own TURBO-GINSU SHADOWCRUISER(tm)! It SLICES, it DICES, it roasts Narns to a golden perfection! Armored Cruiser? Try PLANETARY CRUST! It cuts through continents with ease! Watch how it shears through orbital stations without losing it's edge!
The TURBO-GINSU SHADOWCRUISER(tm) has a sleek black finish that is INDESTRUCTIBLE! And it's smooth, ergonomic design fits perfectly in the palm of your hand.
BUT WAIT, there's still *MORE*! ORDER NOW and you'll get this FREE set of Mini death-urchins, perfect for when those unexpected guests show up! CALL NOW, operators are standing by, or send check or money order to:
TURBO-GINSU SHADOWCRUISER(tm) P.O Box 666 Z'ha'dum, CA 90210(sorry, no CODs accepted; Indestructibility guarantee not valid for mini death-urchins)
"Hello, TURBO-GINSU SHADOWCRUISER(tm)?"
"Yes. *What do you want?*"