Renovation! Watch for falling links! Renovation!

John Norstad

From comp.sys.mac.comm:

In article <>, (Marty Bose) wrote:
> In article <;,
> (1) You are some kind of mutated being who never sleeps.
> I could think of a number of other symptoms that this
> mutation might also be responsible for, which might explain
> a lot of things!  Perhaps you have ten fingers on each hand,
> so you can type faster, for instance.  
I think we should put John Norstad in touch with Chris Carter, creator of _The X-Files._ Perhaps John will inspire Chris to write an episode of the show that focuses on weird experiments being done at a major northwestern university to try to improve staff productivity. Here's a sample:

A modern American university. Tall glass and concrete buildings nestled amongst rolling greens and a small park. Students carrying books and tote bags hurry to class.

CAPTION on screen reads:
Northwestern University, 3:48 PM.

Despite the best platitudes delivered by the academicians at Northwestern University, I remain convinced that John Norstad is not a willing participant in these direct neural channelling experiments. The equipment in this room reminds me disturbingly of Arecibo, and of Scully's abduction. Of something else that happened that I can't quite remember, and of a warning that Deep Throat gave me shortly before his murder.

staring past his own reflection into a long glass window, literally a glass wall on one side of a darkened room. The room is empty except for MULDER and WHITE-COATED COMPUTER SCIENTIST. Both of them look in fascination through the one-way mirror into a harshly lit laboratory room. Two white-coated lab workers make notes on PDA's and watch a SLACK-JAWED ACADEMIC TYPE as he stares zombie-like at the screen of a heavily modified PowerMac, a think bundle of fiber-optic cables emerging from the base of his skull. The cables run into a series of expansion interfaces crammed tightly into the computer.

What's he doing right now? Compiling?

distracts himself from watching the bespectacled and bearded SLACK-JAWED ACADEMIC TYPE type sitting at Macintosh, as lines of code blur past the screen.

Compiling? Ha! He's rewriting the Newswatcher code from scratch to run native on PowerMacs running the new OpenVarnish operating system!

as Macintosh swiftly reboots and launches newly compiled software. A perfectly formed three dimensional image of a waffle slowly begins to rotate on the display as a texture-mapped simulacrum of maple syrup pours from the top of the screen. The Monty Python theme begins to blare from large stereo speakers fastened to the side of the display. SLACK-JAWED ACADEMIC TYPE grins and starts to cackle wildly.


  ____  _     ___  ____  ____  _        
 |  __)| \   (_  || ___)| () || |___   || "Free your mind,
(_  _) | |_  /() || \    \__ ||  _  \  ||  and your ass
 |_|   \___)(____||_|   (____||_| |_|  ||  will follow."
= = Peter Cohen =  ||  - George Clinton

Netscape HTML Checked! November 7, 1994 - Robert Lentz (

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